Happy Birthday to me!!!!

Today is another year that I may count my blessings Not just another morning, but another year to say that I'm alive and loving it. Watching Black Girls Rock, getting motivated and making this blessing into something more. I'm blessed to have reached 23, and I'm going to show how proud of it I am. I have had my share of ups and downs, but that doesn't mean I'm going to let anything stop me from showing my full potential. I love myself way to much not to do what I was put on this earth for. I make mistakes like everyone else but I'm going to promise myself that i'll do what I'm made for. As I enjoy my birthday.

down on a day

A life of it's own unknown to man
a curse left inside me lost beneath my soul
more than an emptiness that lurks beside me
it's my comfort zone
constantly trying to figure out why when and what happened
focused on what's wrong with no effort to do what's right
I'm alone in my own world and no sense of can be made of it

Vent Session 102

Lost for words sometimes. Have you ever felt as though you finally knew exactly what you wanted and the steps that you needed to get there? Then the few people that you expected to support you were the ones who really wanted to break you. I'm a very nice person, would do any and everything for someone if I could. Until now. Sometimes you have to get yourself where you want to be before you try and do for others. Don't get me wrong, I would more then love to help those who would truly appreciate and need it, but you can't always do that. I have been through my share of experiences, and one of the things I keep forgetting is to focus on making yourself a better person then I was yesterday. I would keep giving everyone the benefit of the doubt and every single time it's been a slap in the face.Even the people that I felt had my back. Now I have a couple who feel as though im bitter, and a ticking time bomb ready to explode, but im a lot more calm then I was when I was younger. I express myself a lot more, and I have no problem telling someone where they can go...but in a respectful way, still trying to be a role model to those watching. I've learned that some, if not most people are going to think of you what they want, even if you let them know different. You just have to be strong enough to know who you are and what you plan on making of yourself. I'm one of the many people who learned that you just can't please everyone, not everyone is going to like you, and there is always going to be someone who has to be negative. You just have to be strong enough to handle it. I've learned that once you can handle little things like that...life is so much easier and stress free, trust. I know it's easier said then done, but when someone says or does something that you know would not be right, create space. Some people learn how valuable you are when you're gone. If they still don't come around just stay distant, clearly you didn't matter enough for them to get their act together.I know i'm kind of all over the place, but this is how I like to vent. I find ways to clear my head and put myself at ease. #SelfAngerManagementControl. Like I was saying, after everything I've been through, and all the people that I reached my neck out, I realized more then half of them would'nt help me if they hit the lotto, won a trip around the world and had mega money to spare. Last year(2009) was the ending note to all foolishness for me. I'm a very quiet person, so I pay close attention, I remember everything that's been said and done to me. I'll always forgive, but I will never forget what was done. I see no reason in holding grudges because I do believe people can change for the best just as quick as they can change for the worst, but in saying that I'm also evolving into a stronger person. I don't deserve to be treated without respect so I wont. I'm so much more comfortable in my skin and I finally love myself. I don't need anyones praise because I know what I'm doing for myself, but I do appreciate all forms of appreciation. I'm finally happy, and I love it! I want the same feeling to run through everyones veins =)

le jour où mon coeur s'est arrêté (The day my heart stopped)

I miss the love that kept me sane

and my heart who knew how to heal all my pain                           

I'm ok being perfectly different                                                                                                              

others on the outside looking in

but I'm not ok not having you

Not one to settle down

but wanting to one day carry your last name

I know I should not be the one who should be with you

but my imagination keeps running away with me

my mind plays tricks

and my heart does flips

for a love that I don't deserve

a love full of pain and pleasure and all of the above

Everything about you came out as a lie                                                                                                  but I'm stuck......

caught up in a feeling that's oh so familiar

lost in your lies

but it's too late to cry

I'm done and through with what you do

but cant help that I think of you

The day my heart stopped beating........

Self Assurance

A man can make you feel complete,special,powerful,intelligent and like there is no other that can bring what you bring to the table. It means so much more when you already felt that way about yourself. If a guy already knows what his worth is and is smart enough to see yours, why can't you? So many females talk about how Independent they are but fall weak when it comes to guys. Some begin to devalue themselves in order to fit into the guys radar. I just don't understand it. You are more than able to be yourself and still make it work,that is if he was truly meant for you. I'm not going to act like I'm perfect and never been in love. I've had that weak moment.Not wanting to lose the person who means so much to you. At the same time, don't you think he should love you for you. What should make you stronger is not who you're with but what you represent. What do you love about yourself? What makes you smile? What do you bring to the table that makes you special? If a guy truly wants to be with you he will be able to answer each question without hesitation. You can tell what someone wants from you by the way they approach you, or where they lead the conversation. Go with the person who leads to more happiness in your life, not stress.

CREATIVE WRITING- POETRY

Of the many foundations up upon which humans rest, words are probably the most solid. I remember the old children's song: "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never touch me." Which is totally not true. We remember cruel things people have said long after we have forgotton the person. We remember the little hurts of not being invited to a birthday party or even worse the whisper that we won't get a date for the prom. We remember the teacher who said we were dumb and we remember the prejudiced epithets that Countee Cullen spoke so beautifully against. But words without heart, without emotion, without passion are themselves less meaningful. Words need to combine with words to make a bettter word but a more meaningful metaphor.Poetry. When arrogance calls it should always be poetry that answers thereby granting a stay by humankind's feeling of omnipotence. When love calls it must be poetry that answers bringing the sweet perfume of gentleness as our hearts pound and pound; when courage calls it will always be poetry that answers as we rise above ourselves to bring about a better thing.Whe war calls,poetry is the only answer. Poetry says No to destruction and Yes to possibility. Poetry is a good idea. A good friend. A good neighbor. Let's write poems.

                                -Nikki Giovanni (Acolytes)

Reality Television Survey

1. How do you feel about Reality Television now?
2. What would you like to gain from watching a Reality television show?
3. If you could create a Show what would it be about & what would you want your viewers to gain from it?
4. Who would you want to Host the show?
5. Which Producers & Directors work do you enjoy?
6. Who are some of your favorite Actors?
7. Name your favorite Basketball Players?
8. Who are your favorite entertainers?
9. What type of characters do you enjoy watching?
10. What would you like to learn about breaking into the Industry?
11. What would you like to learn about taking your filed of study to the next level?
12. What's your current favorite show?
13. What stories do you want told?
14. What do you feel makes a good show?

Reality Speaks the truth

Have you ever had a dream that you wanted to come true so bad???? Well that's how I feel everyday. My dreams motivate me to bring something new into the world. A reason to unleash my creativity, something that may help others. With role models like Michael Jordan, Tyra Banks, Kimora , Bow Wow and Vanessa and Angela Simmons, just to name a few, I can't help but try. The fact that age is truly just a number makes it even better. There is no age limit on success and the young entrepreneurs make that very well known. So that's one reason why I'm here. My goal for my blog page is to let you in on my dream. To give you the chance to share your feelings about my ideas. So ask questions, give ideas, take surveys. Just participate in my goal of creating a better environment.